Friday, June 05, 2009

Martin Brossman's All About Men Seminar by Jessica Sabatini

A blog posting by Jessica Sabatini in about Martin's Men's Talk for Women, inspired after the talk.

What an enlightening experience! Last night, May 4th, I attended Martin Brossman's seminar about men (he's coming up with a new title) at the BNC center. About 13 years ago, Martin attended a men's weekend in LA that truly changed his life. I know he's telling the truth, because about 10 years ago, my husband attended the same men's weekend in NY, which played a big part in bringing out this masculine, emotionally expressed, man of integrity that I married.

At the end of the weekend both men attended, they were advised to find a group of mature men to support these insights and keep them true to their mission. So, not having a group near by, Martin began his own men's group called the Triangle Men's Inquiry that has been meeting monthly for the past 12 years. This seminar was a culmination of all that Martin learned about the struggles of creating healthy, mature males from these meetings.

Martin made an important correlation between the lack of sufficient forces to develop these healthy men and the rising prison population, more than 50% divorce rate, and the non-ethical business and financial practices causing havoc in our world today. I agree, since the feminist revolution, men have been confused about their identity, and society has been confused as to what we really want from our men. Martin offers answers and powerful solutions that will help this gender find it's balance and place once again as centered, strong, fully expressed, contributing men.

Some of the gems I picked up were:
1. That I don't have to fix or be everything for my husband/son. His happiness is not my responsibility. I can be a wife/mother and support him in many ways, but he needs other men to challenge him, give him attention and space to sort through his feelings, and validate him when he takes action along his life purpose.

2. When my husband (or father, brother, son) actually expresses his feeling to me, DON'T DIG DEEPER! Recognize that he processes emotions differently and most likey slower than I, so be happy that he is expressing something. If I push it, he may keep his feelings in the next time.

3. Men have the ability to do before they have the ability to feel. So when I notice my husband with an emotional struggle, I can ask "What do you need to do to make you feel better/complete/relieved/satisfied?" And he may just have to mow the lawn in order to work out his angst about his boss, and that's his process.

4. Give room for my husband to be a father in his own way. There is no need for me to micromanage his relationship with his off spring. Afterall, they're his kids too, he has a right to discover th man he wants to be for them and with them. I can even help him out by handing him the baby and walking out the door for at least four hours.

I higly recommend you spreading the word about Martin's mission and learn ways to support the men in your life as they strive to reach their full potential.

Jessica Sabatini

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

what a load of stuff, men do not want thier masculine emotional self out. Men want to be men and they find it hard to be men when women are in the picture. But men there is hope I have just read the best book about men relating and understanding women it's call the common man's guide for working with women and it has helped me get past the emotion stuff and see women and men for who they are.